A Christmas Cori
by Jigga What
Summary: Christmas Eve for Tori Vega goes unexpected as a certain red-head visits her. And Cat did not come for greetings and cookies. She came for help and support. CORI. Rated M for dark and sexual (soon to come) themes.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is my first crack at a fanfic. I hope all goes well. ****I have seen a ton of Christmas Jori fanfics here. So I thought about making something different. This story takes place a few days after A Christmas Tori. ****Rated T for now - possibly M in the near future.**

**Disclaimer: Is owning VICTORiOUS worth it? Absolutely! But I don't have the money, so no, I don't own it. I own a flip phone, though!**

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**Tori's POV**

December 24th, 2012. 8:00 PM. Christmas Eve. The day before the actual holiday. The time where families and relatives get together for a heck of a good time, eating lavish meals, exchanging presents wrapped in colorful gift wrappers, and tell humorous stories about their lives. Right now, you would think I'm with my whole family hanging out the mall or visiting aunts, uncles and cousins. However, that is not the case. You see, my dad, the police officer, is on duty today and won't come back until 10 PM. It sucks not to have him at our Christmas Eve dinner but work is work. Heck, I would do the same too, over time pay is pretty decent, especially for a cop. At the moment, it's just me, my sister Trina, and my mom celebrating Christmas Eve. I could have invited my friends over but they have their own family, too. I didn't want to disrupt their own plans. Mom made her amazingly delicious Vega family pot pie! Not a bad way to celebrate Christmas Eve. We're about to indulge ourselves in heaven in the form of a pot pie when the door bell rang.

"Must be Christmas carolers. Tori, grab twenty bucks from my purse." My mom tells me. I do just that and head for the door. I was expecting some singers singing some cheery holiday songs but when I turned the knob and opened the front door, I was greeted by a different kind of singer.

"Cat? What are you doing here?" I haven't seen her since last Friday where we sang for André's music teacher, Anthony, helping André get the A he deserves. I'm a bit surprised to see her here at my house, though. I have two reasons. One, she has her own family and I'm assuming they would be celebrating together. And two, I didn't invite her here. But then again, we always go to each other's houses unexpectedly. That's what best friends do, right? Still, I'm shocked to see her here but happy, nonetheless. I forgot, I still have the twenty dollars in my hand. I shove the bill immediately in my pocket.

"Hey Tori." She says. She sounds so solemn, like that time when she heard about the local pet store closing down. She's wearing dark clothes just like that time too (she protested in front of the store itself). Usually, she's wearing something bright and colorful that makes Jade puke, but now, she's wearing a black sweater and ripped denim jeans (black, too) similar to what Jade usually wears. "Can I come in?" She asks with a pout almost devouring her upper lip. I can't say to that now, can I? Even with the dark colors surrounding her body, she still manages to look cute, especially with that pout.

"Of course. Merry Christmas, by the way." I greet her as she enters the house. She responds to my holiday greeting with a simple 'Yeah'. She kicks off her sneakers and immediately proceeds to sit on my couch, legs lifted so she is hugging her knees. Now I know something is definitely up with her. She doesn't even seem to notice my sister and mom in the same room as her.

"Hi Cat. Merry Christmas sweetie. Come and sit with us. We have pot pie. It's delicious." My mom invites her to eat. She just shakes her head and politely replies no. Apparently, she didn't want to eat because this moment is reserved for the Vega's only and she shouldn't interrupt with our dinner. Well, she did kinda interrupt us before eating. That doesn't matter now, because I would have let her in anyway, even if her reason was just to greet us a Merry Christmas and give us a platter of home made cookies. I try to console Cat but she insisted that I should eat first and have a good time with my family. She insists. Well, I guess I'll talk to her later. There is a meat pie made in a pot waiting for me and I don't want to eat it cold. I sit down on the chair where I could see Cat clearly while I'm feasting on this pot pie. Damn, my mom never fails me. This pot pie is the best so far. Maybe, I'll save some for Cat later. We, the Vega's, try to strike up a conversation with each other but the awkward tension prevents us from doing. That and we are really gobbling up this pot pie so fast, we couldn't even try to speak. I take a few glances at Cat while I'm eating. She's just sitting there, knees hugged close to her chest, eyes downcast, like she's about to cry. Me being the best friend I am, I actually stop for a minute and walk towards her. She doesn't even look up at me when I sit down next to her.

"Is everything alright?" I ask her. She seems hesitant at first to answer, but she doesn't give me the clichéd answer of 'I'm fine'.

"No. I-I'll talk to you later. You should enjoy this moment with your... family." At that moment, she looks me in the eye. Wow, her eyes tell the story. They're filled with sorrow and forlorn. I observed something else, too. She choked a bit before finishing her sentence. Does her problem involve her family? I guess I'll have to wait until after dinner to find out for myself. I return to my seat with my mom giving me a worried look. Usually, Trina doesn't really care about her that much. 'If it doesn't involve me, I don't care.' That's what she'd say. But this time, she seems a bit concerned with Cat. Just a bit, though, as she still keeps on munching on the pot pie. I turn my attention to my mother who is looking at the red head on our couch with worry.

"Is there a problem? She's seems upset." My mom's voice is filled with genuine concern.

"Yeah. I'm gonna talk to her after dinner. She probably wants to confide in me privately, whatever her problem is." I tell my mom. I will help her. Or at least, try to.

"Maybe she got kicked out of the house." Trina suddenly interjects while shoving a spoonful of pot pie in her not really talented mouth.

"Trina! You're not helping. Plus, she can hear you." I screamed at her. Well, not really screamed per se. Just raised my voice a little to make it sound like I'm angry. And I am. A bit.

"Hey, I'm just giving my insight from what I can notice. If she's here and not with her family right now, then the problem lies there, with her family." Damn, her logic makes sense. I can't think of anything to counter that. I just shrug my shoulders and return back to eating dinner. It's gone cold now but that's hardly the main reason I've lost my desire to eat. Seeing Cat truly broken, that is what made me lost my appetite.

I only took a few more bites before placing my plate on the kitchen sink. I was supposed to clean the dishes today, but my mom made Trina do it as I had to comfort Cat with her problem she still hadn't told me. After hearing a few complaints from my sister, I head to Cat almost immediately. Before that, I grabbed a bowl and filled it with pot pie. Hopefully, I can give this to Cat later. Cat looks like she still hadn't eaten. When I get there, she's still in the same position ever since she came here. And that was like 15 minutes ago. I tell her to go to my room so we can talk this out. She nods weakly and I lead her to my room. Man, she really does look broken. Her hands hide in the sleeves of her sweater and her head is down while walking. Once we get in, I lock the door and set down the bowl of pot pie on my desk. My room, filled with shades of purples and whites, is a contrast to what Cat is wearing right now. Cat immediately lies face down on my bed. And then she starts crying. She's been holding it in all this time. I sit down next to her and rub her back while she let's it all out. We don't even talk for a good 10 minutes. I just let her cry until she starts to speak up.

"I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him!" She screams at the top of her lungs, muffled only by my bed. She went from soft sobs to high-pitched wails.

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**A/N: Good place to stop, right? Am I evil? Probably not. **

**Yeah, it's a short chapter. This is kind of like a prologue, before the main story comes into play. So, what do you think happened to Cat? Leave your opinions via review. I just love those.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Damn. I thought long and hard about this chapter. I kept changing who "he" is. I finally made up my mind just in time. Here you go my jiggas.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious. See, that's simple enough.**

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**Cat's POV**

I think I'm all cried out now. I have been crying since yesterday. I just feel so conflicted and hurt right now. That's why I came to Tori's. I just needed someone to listen to me because... no one will listen to me in my house anymore. I sit back up, back resting against Tori's bed's headboard, legs drawn closer to my chest. Tori sits next to me and wraps her arm around my shoulder, enveloping me in her grasp.

"Will you tell me everything, Cat?" Tori asks.

"Y-yeah." I nod weakly.

"Okay, start from the beginning. I'm all ears." She affirms. I tell her the whole story on why currently I'm a broken mess.

This started a few months ago. One night, my mom and my dad argued because he arrived home late and he didn't tell my mom. She suspected that he was having an affair with another woman but he reassured her that he stayed late for work. After that, it got worse. He kept coming late almost every night, and most of the time, he was drunk. My mom really loved him so much, she didn't even try to stop him. But one night, which was last week, my mom found out. Her hunch was right. He kept sending flirtatious e-mails to some other woman from his workplace. My mom found out while he had to go pee in the bathroom and he left his e-mail account open on his laptop. That's when it happened. She confronted him and it was my dad that got absolutely livid. My mom really did love him so much, all she asked for was an explanation. However, he ... had enough of her. I heard shouting, my mom screaming that he was a cheater and he responds by telling my mom's a bitch. My heart broke when I heard that. I was too scared to move from under my blanket. I didn't really see the events myself but I heard them bickering loud and clear from my room. I head shouting and a loud thump, someone falling down hard to the floor. He hit her with a solid punch, knocked my mom unconscious. Even if I didn't see it at the exact moment it happened, I know that fact because my mom doesn't even have the strength or the courage to throw a jab. Afterwards, he immediately left my mom and me to go be with that ... whore! I heard the car driving out of our driveway, tires burning out. After he left the house, I went to check up on my mom and I saw her broken and crushed. After regaining consciousness, she shrieked loudly and all I could do was comfort her. Just when you think things couldn't get any worse, it did. The day after, she went into chronic depression. She never left her room, so I always had to bring her food there. However, she didn't eat as well, she didn't take care of herself, so I had to do it for her. Maybe, I didn't do a good job enough. It was only yesterday, my memory still fresh and clear. After I went to the grocery to buy food supplies, I never saw her in her room. I panicked and checked every room in the house. Then, in the basement, I ... saw her. Lifeless. Gone. Blood dripping down from her mouth, the thick rope wrapped tightly around her neck. I broke down at the sight of my mom committing suicide. I cried hysterically until I can't no more. I screamed my mom's name, praying that it was all a bad dream and she's not really dead. But it was all real. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have to be all by myself right now. She's gone. He left. I'm alone.

"Cat... I-I'm so sorry..." Tori sympathizes. I can see her tears falling down from her eyes. I can feel myself tearing up, too.

I take out my wallet from my pocket and show her my family picture. I don't know why, but I felt like she needs to see my parents. My brother isn't in this picture. He was in the hospital during that time until now. That's not what's important now. My hand instinctively touches the face of my mom. I have almost the same facial features as her, except she has shoulder-length brown hair and grey eyes. I reluctantly look at the man beside her. A tall man with a businessman look. Bald head, clean shaved, wearing a suit and tie... That man, he was the reason mom went into depression. He drove her into committing suicide. I start to break down again, not from sadness but from anger.

"I'm so lost right now, Tor. I-I hate him. I fucking hate him! He should have died! Not my mom!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, not caring who would hear me. I break down in front of Tori for like the second time. It hurts so much. Tori holds me closer, rocking me back and forth. She has a tight grip on me, insinuating that she would never leave me all alone. I intake the smell of Tori from this hug. She smells home-y, something that I won't be able to feel anymore. I start to drift off...

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_What am I doing at my parents' room? I see two figures in front of me. My parents..._

_"What are you doing with this woman?! Why are you sending each other love e-mails?!" My mom yells at my dad, demanding an answer._

_"The question is what are you doing with my laptop?!" My dad retorts.  
_

_"That's not the point! Why are you doing this?!" She insists._

_"Damnit! You're always like this! You always ask every once in a while where I am or what am I doing. You always check my e-mails, texts, calls, what else have you spied on me? You're so insecure, that you always had to check up on me like I'm your son! Well guess what? I'm done! I'm leaving, and I don't want you to bother me ever again!"_

_"Wait! Just, please, explain to me why are you doing this?" She asks, almost begging for an answer._

_Right then, my dad snapped. He punched her right on the head, knocking her unconscious. I gasp at the moment. I start to cry and when I closed my eyes for just a second, the room suddenly changed to pitch black._

_Now where am I? This looks like our basement. Well, what the hell am I doing in the basement? And who's that on the chair? Why does that person have a rope around their neck? Wait... that's!_

_"Mom!" I screamed at her but she didn't hear me. Oh no, she's about to drop down from the chair. I try to run towards her to stop her from doing this nonsense. However, I can't seem to move at all. Fuck! "Mom! Stop! Don't leave me alone!"_

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I wake up in a cold sweat. I had fallen asleep still in Tori's grasp. My heart is palpitating. Tears fall down from my eyes again. Her hand is running through my hair. She is giving kisses on my head. And there's that home-y feeling again.

"I really miss her, Tori. I don't know what to do without her now. She was my anchor. My support. Now that she's gone, I feel weak and frail." My words are a bit muffled from Tori's tight cradle.

"Oh, Cat. I'm sure she misses you dearly. Just remember, she is watching you always. She probably would be disappointed in you if you keep putting yourself down like that. You should at least put on a smile to make her smile. If you ever need somewhere to go, I'm always right here for you." She squeezes me tighter. I mutter a thank you. We stay about that for a long time until we fall asleep, with her still cuddling me, my back to hers. I try my best to sleep but as I close my eyes, my mind is flooded with memories of my mom.

When I woke up (which is surprising because I never had another nightmare that night), I immediately felt a warm breath on my neck. That sent goosebumps all over my body. Tori's arms are still wrapped around me. It actually feels comforting, knowing that she's here and never letting me go. And literally, she doesn't let go. I try to pry her hands of my stomach but somehow, she has a vice grip on me. I wouldn't mind though, I would just leave her like that, but... I really have to pee.

"Cat..." She says groggily. I turn around to face her. She looks tired. It's possible that she stayed up all night looking after me.

"Good morning Tori and um... Merry Christmas." She blinks at me in surprise. I think I know why. "Don't worry, Tori. It's Christmas. So, you're supposed to greet everyone a Merry Christmas." I assure her. She nods and gives me a shy smile.

"Good morning to you too, Cat and Merry Christmas. You feeling any better?" She asks hesitantly.

"Yeah, but first, can you let go of me? I really have to use the bathroom." I request.

"Oh... yeah. Sorry about that." She stammers. Her eyes shift to her ceiling. I almost sure I saw her face blush a little bit.

"It's okay. I'll be back in a boo." I give her a smile and I hop out of bed to head to the bathroom. I did my business there and some thinking too. I thought about what Tori said last night. _S__he is watching you always. She probably would be disappointed in you if you keep putting yourself down like that. You should at least put on a smile to make her smile. _Maybe, she's right. Although it still hurts pretty bad, I have to move on, I guess. I think that's what she meant by that. But I know I am not going to do that alone. I have a great friend in Tori who's going to help me. Before I make my way to her, I tried to make myself look better because I look like crap. My hair's a mess, eye bags circling my eyes. I just look so tired. I wash my face with water and straighten down my hair with Tori's brush. After 5 minutes, I look somewhat better than before. I step out of the bathroom and was greeted by a familiar man.

"Hey Cat. Merry Christmas. Are you done using the bathroom?" Mr. Vega is dressed for a trip. I wonder if Tori's leaving with him. I reply to his question with a simple yes. "I was told you were here but I didn't see you last night. Probably because I came home so late, most likely you were already sleeping. Oh, Tori's already downstairs. She's heating up your slice of the Vega pot pie. It's really good. Go on, she's waiting for you." Mr. Vega informs me. I nod and I quickly ran downstairs to find Tori in the kitchen with her mom. Mrs. Vega looks like she's going on a trip, just like her husband. They look like they're having a serious conversation. Oh no, I hope she didn't tell her about what happened. I don't think I'm ready for other people to know. I came to Tori because I know she is the only one who can help me. That, and she's kinda like my only option. I'm not that really close with the guys for me to tell them about my personal problems and as for Jade, well, she tends to give me the least helpful advice. If I did go to her, she would have said 'Where is your dad now? I will make sure the scissors you gave me puts into good use.'. Hmm... now that I think about it, perhaps that's not such a bad idea after all.

"Cat!" Tori waves at me from the kitchen. She still hadn't changed from her clothes that she slept in, gray sweatpants and a purple top. That rules out my theory that Tori's leaving with her family. Dang it, from all my thinking, I didn't notice I was still at the foot of the stairs. I walk towards her, hoping that my situation wasn't discussed between them.

"Okay, I'll leave the house to you two. Are you sure you don't want to come, Tori? You could bring Cat with you." Mrs. Vega double-checks.

"No, it's okay. I'll stay here with Cat." Tori replies and her mom says goodbye, followed by Mr. Vega and Trina. The door closes and I can hear their car driving out the driveway. "In case you're wondering, they left to go visit our grandparents' house in San Diego. I opted to stay here just for you." She grins at me widely. I feel my face getting red and my eyes shift to the side. I smile back at her as my hand touches her arm.

"Thanks. It really means a lot knowing that you would give up so much of your time just to be with me. Incidentally, did you tell the truth to your parents about what really happened? Or did you make up some smart excuse?"

"To be honest, I told them that you supposed to go on a family trip to Paris to surprise a visit to your relatives but you were left at home by accident. When you woke up yesterday, you checked the house for any signs of them but they were nowhere to be found. You tried to call them but you couldn't reach them, because they were already on the plane." I burst out laughing. Man, I hadn't laughed like this since maybe last week. "So what do you think of my excuse for you?" She asks sheepishly.

"That's a great excuse. It totally reminds me of a movie I haven't watched since I was a little kid. I'm surprised your parents didn't catch on to your 'excuse'. We should watch that movie later, 'kay Tori? What was it again, Left Alone?" I pout and give her my puppy dog eyes.

"Hahaha! You're one word off, but yeah let's watch it later. But right now, you should eat our famous Vega family pot pie while it's still warm." Tori exclaims. She opens the microwave and a strong smell of a mixture of meats fill the air. I sit down at the table with a fork at the ready.

I hear a faint rumbling from my stomach. I guess I hadn't had a chance to eat since yesterday. Plus, I really really want to try out their pot pie. So, I indulge myself in their pot pie. Hmm. Oh. Oh wow. It's...

"Delicious!" I blurt out after the first bite. She lets out a hearty laugh and a smug look that says 'I told you they're good'. I probably finished the dish in a minute, with a grin on my face, and a happy stomach. I thank Tori for the food with a peck on the cheek. Her face turned red all of a sudden and I feel mine turn red too.

We've given each other kisses on the cheek before. Those were strictly platonic, friends only. But why does it feel different now?

Regardless, I feel like all of my problems seem to fade whenever I'm with Tori. I mean I'm still dejected about the passing of my mom but I'm trying my hardest not to dwell on it too much, just like what Tori told me. Smile and she'll smile back. And I know I still have a great Christmas waiting for me.

Because I'm with Tori.

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**A/N: ****Honestly, I had a bit of a hard time with this chapter. Mixing sad stuff with not so sad ones. Oh well, such is a life of a writer. I think. ****Review, favorite, or do a combination of both. Such is a life of a reader. I know.**

**Trivia: What's the movie they're going to watch? :) Don't tell me you don't know.**

**PS: If you've tasted the Vega family pot pie, please tell me if it's any good. :))**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I got the money. So why can't I own Victorious? Many reasons, the money's not enough, Victorious stopped airing new episodes, I don't want to... Oh who am I kidding, if I'm given the chance, I would so own Victorious right now.**

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**Tori's POV**

December 26, 2012. The day after Christmas. A day where most adults are still hung over from heavily drinking on Christmas. I am not one of them but my parents are. Heck, I didn't even visit my friends to greet them a happy holiday. I did text them though. Then, what did I do on Christmas? I was busy taking care of a certain perky redhead. We went to the Green Meadow Mall for some retail therapy. She bought some blouses and dresses and I bought a pair of jeans for myself as well. After that, we watched Home Alone at my bedroom just like she requested. We sat down with our backs against the headboard. We laughed at every time the two robbers got hit by the house traps. She even pleaded to play the sequel which of course I did not refuse. After watching 3.5 hours of Home Alone (which, I have to admit, is fitting considering the holiday season right now), we talked about random stuff until it's midnight. She did cry herself to sleep but it wasn't as bad as last time. I had to rub her back until her sobs subsided. When I woke up, I saw Cat sitting on the edge of the bed weeping softly. And I knew why.

Today is her mom's wake. It is held at Holy Trinity Funeral Homes which is actually pretty close by, even though I've never heard of the place. Before we go, me and Cat ate some Cheerio's for a quick breakfast and we took showers to freshen ourselves up. We didn't take a shower at the same time, mind you. Afterwards, I walked Cat to her house to let her pick out a black dress. It is customary is wear black during a wake. At least, that's what she told me when her family goes to wake and funerals of close relatives. I did put on a black outfit before going with Cat. I just wore a black shirt and my darkest pair of jeans I have. Coincidentally, it was actually the one I bought yesterday. We arrived at her house at around 9 AM. I've been to her home several times. Now, her house is abandoned. Cat starts to cry again when we get to their front door. I hold her hand, rubbing my thumb over her skin. I know that she feels a lot more comfortable if I hold her hand like this. She looks at me with a grateful expression. A small smile forms on her. She pulls out her house key and inserts the thin metal into the lock.

"Huh? I could have sworn I locked the door when I left." She says incredulously. Cat takes out the key and starts to turn the knob. Well, what do you know? It is open. When we step inside, her eyes widen in surprise. I check the surroundings. Nope, no dead bodies. Everything looks normal. So, why does Cat seem surprised about the normality of the place?

"Cat, I don't see a problem here. There's absolutely nothing out of the ordinary." I voice out my thoughts.

"But there is! I swore this place was a lot messier when I left to go to your house. I remember the throw pillows were scattered all over the floor and..." Cat counters.

"_Do you remember..._"

"What?" She asks me with a quizzical look that I match.

"What do you mean 'what'? I didn't say anything." I respond. We stay still in silence until...

"_...the 21st night of September?_" At that moment, we hear a voice from the kitchen. Cat shrieks in fear. I hold her tight, trying to protect her. Cat's trembling in fear.

"Who's there?! I have a knife!" The voice from the kitchen yells at us. A different scenarios come to my mind. The most realistic one, there's a possibility that a burglar in the kitchen. But what kind of burglar cleans a house? And, the voice we heard, it was some sort of singing. Plus, the voice sounded like an old lady. So we have a tenured singing maid thief in the kitchen right now. Perfect.

I feel Cat calming down after hearing that voice. Does she know our mystery singing lady burglar?

"Nona? Is that you?" She asks timidly.

A stubby woman with short ginger hair comes out of the kitchen. She definitely does not look like a thief, but she could possibly be a singer. "Cat!" Right away, she heads towards Cat. I let go of Cat and she runs toward the woman to give her a big hug.

"Nona! It's so nice to see you. How's Venice? What brings you here? Oh by the way, this is Tori, my friend. I'm really really happy to see you again, Nona. It's been like three months." Wow, I haven't heard her talk that fast. Nona pulls out of the hug. If my assumptions are correct, Nona is Cat's grandmother.

"Okay okay, take it easy Cat. I missed you too. I'm here to watch the place for a while. I have to say, I was a bit worried something bad might have happened to you. But then again, I just got here like 30 minutes ago, so I thought you just went outside to visit some friends or something. Good thing I still have the spare key your mom gave to me. I saw how messy the house was so I cleaned it all up. Took me like 25 minutes. Before you came in, I was preparing a quick breakfast for you. I'm making quiche. Nice to meet you, by the way, Tori." She looks at me with a grin on her face. Wow, now I know where Cat gets that speed from.

"Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Valentine." I greet her.

"Oh no, you got the wrong grandma. I'm not a Valentine technically speaking. See, I'm Cat's mom's mom. So, there's no way I could be a Valentine. Just call me Nona." She explains.

"Oh okay, Nona. I'm so sorry for your loss by the way." I give her my sincere condolences.

"Thanks. When I first heard of the news, I was hysteric. I cried literally buckets of tears. But my neighbors were supportive. Even the kids I'm babysitting wrote cards for me. I was so flattered. I'm trying not to dwell on it too much right now. Though, I know for sure I won't be able to control myself later at the wake. Well, enough sadness, let's eat some quiche!" Nona suggests.

"Actually Nona, we already ate before going here. I was only going to put on a black dress and head immediately to the funeral home." Cat responds.

"Well, if you would go now, you'll have to wait. The viewing doesn't start until 1 PM. Although, family members can come early, I'm afraid Tori here will have to wait outside. You're granddad's already there, by the way, so no need to worry about no one being there." Nona clarifies.

"Oh okay. Thanks for telling us. We'll just be in my room then." Cat replies. She gives Nona a big grin and I find myself doing the same.

Cat takes my hand as we ascend the stairs to the second story of her house. There goes that warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach again. We enter Cat's room and I'm immediately bombarded by the color pink. I've been to her room so many times, I've lost count. But this moment, me and Cat in her room, it feels ... private? That's not the word I'm looking for. It feels ... intimate. She even locked the door. I'm almost tempted to ask why but I knew from the start I would just be asking an irrelevant question. Cat sits down on the edge of her bed, a sad look on her face. She pats the area beside her, telling me to sit down too. I do just that and she holds my hand again. And here come the butterflies. She takes a deep breath before speaking.

"So, Tori. What do you wanna do? We can watch a movie on my laptop. Or we can play some board games too if you want. I have Monopoly, Scrabble, Pictionary..."

"Cat." I place my index finger on her mouth to stop her from going a 100 miles an hour. "As fun as those things are, I really want to take a nap right now. I barely had any sleep last night." And that's the truth. I truly am tired right now. The reason? None, really. Just, too much thinking. About me. And Cat.

"Oh, okay. We have like 3 hours. Maybe I'll take a nap too. Can I ask why can't you sleep, Tori?" She asks me innocently. Damn those puppy-dog eyes. And that pout too.

"It's nothing. I think it was insomnia but I'm okay now." I reason with her. It's half-true, but I don't want to divulge into details. We lay down onto the bed, our hands not letting go.

"You know, I've done some research that the main reason for insomnia is the fact that you can't stop thinking about someone. Or so I've heard. Sleep tight, Tori." She winks at me in a seemingly suggestive manner. She then proceeds to drape her free arm around my waist and dozes off almost immediately. While she's off in her dreamland, I'm at a loss for words.

She doesn't know anything. She's just bluffing. I hope. Maybe I'm being too conspicuous with the way I'm acting towards her.

That I like Cat Valentine.

No, not just as a friend or as a best friend. You know. I kinda like her ... that way. Damn, it's even hard for me to admit it to myself. I did some Zaplook searching and found out some signs if you like someone more than just a friend.

For example, you get that warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach with a simple touch. Check. Her cozy embraces, her hand touching my arm, my cheek, my hand, her head leaning on me and such, all of those generate a million butterflies in my stomach.

Next, that person is always on your mind. She's been through a rough time. So there's no excuse that I'm worried about her. A lot. At times, when she's pushed her problems aside temporarily, I always find myself admiring how pretty her brown eyes are, how the shade of magenta on her hair matches her sun-kissed skin, and how talented she really is. Most people take her for granted, but they haven't seen her true potential.

And last but not the least, comfortable silence. When we're just sitting around in my house watching a movie or TV, we don't talk. We laugh but never converse with one another. And I'm okay with that. It gives me a chance to take in the pretty girl that is sitting right next to me, leaning her head on my shoulder. She'd usually tell me that I'm staring at her with a big goofy smile. She doesn't mind though. She just smiles and reverts her attention back to the TV.

Even though it was in the most unfortunate of circumstances (you know, her mom ... gone), I saw the true Cat. She told me her life story. Her family, her crazy brother stories, Cat herself, it's all a whirlwind of bad luck for them (according to Cat, anyway). She was bullied when she was a kid. She said she was a weird little girl. She's always spontaneous, a bit crazy. But it's not really a negative trait nowadays (hey, you don't see me complaining). She was always by herself. No one talked to her, no one tried to befriend her. Truth is, she was just shy. She waited for someone, anyone to come and talk to her but no one ever did. That is until she went to Hollywood Arts where you can be as spontaneous as you like. That's why she fit in perfectly. And...

God dammit, I'm mentally rambling again. That's why I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see images of Cat. Cat being bullied in 5th grade, Cat's trademark puppy-dog and pout, Cat being yelled at by her dad, Cat's warm embrace on me. Cat sobbing softly, Cat crying hysterically...

Shit. Shit shit shit shit...

I can't get her off my mind. That's one of the signs that...

I love Cat Valentine.

* * *

**A/N: I know this chapter is slightly shorter than the last but I think I did pretty well. I hope. You be the judge. Next chapter might come out a little later. College is starting to bitch at me.**

**PS: I just changed the rating to M because the last chapter was maybe a bit too much for a T rating. Don't worry, it's going to get more M from now on.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own a twitter. If I could hack twitter, then maybe I could own Victorious, or at least their official twitter. Since I'm not a hacker, I don't own Victorious. *insert sad emoji here***

* * *

**Cat's POV**

"Thanks for coming with me, Tori. It truly means a lot to me." I grin at the half-Latina right next to me.

"Hey, I told you that I will always be with you, right? You can't shake me off of you, now." Tori responds. I giggle and shake my head in reply. She's right. I can't get rid of her, now.

"I'm sorry if I'm going to be a hysterical mess later."

"Cat, don't apologize for that. I'm not half-expecting you to have a blank expression the whole time. Don't hold back."

I give her a kiss on the cheek as thanks. I feel her face burn when my lips touched her cheek. Right now, we're heading to Holy Trinity which is only a couple of blocks from my house. Nona left an hour before us. When I woke up (with Tori's face buried in my back and her arm draped over my waist), the tears started to fall again. There are just too many reminders of my mom in my room alone. The pictures I drew in 2nd grade that depicted me and my mom, the actual family pictures hanging in a frame on my wall, the toys and stuffed animals she bought me when I was a kid, and even Mr. Purple, all of these were too much as I began to sob for who knows how many times now. I feel Tori's body shifting and right then, she jolts up after hearing my choked sobs. She holds me in a tight embrace and I lean into her. I'm in a safe place with Tori. After ten or so minutes of crying, I calmed myself down and cleaned up my face in my bathroom. We went to the kitchen helped ourselves to Nona's quiche. Tori complimented my Nona's cooking, saying that her quiche was quite on par with their family pot pie.

"That's my Nona for you." A smug look forms on my face. She laughs and nods in agreement.

After eating, I dressed up for the wake. I took my black cocktail dress out of my closet and asked Tori to help me put it on. She seemed reluctant at first but after my trademark pout and puppy-dog eyes, she accepted. Her face seemed to burn up when I undressed, even more when she helped me zip up the back of my dress. Heck, I felt flushed too when she saw me only in my underwear. After that awkward moment, we left the house, making sure this time I locked the door, and walked together with our elbows linked to the funeral homes.

We didn't talk while walking to the place. Each other's presence is enjoyable enough, even if the silence is deafening. After ten minutes of strolling in stillness**,** we arrive at the funeral homes. It was a fairly large lot with numerous small chapels surrounding a garden in the middle. The garden is a lawn with four stone benches surrounding a central fountain. Holy Trinity has a holy atmosphere, indeed. After asking where my mom is, we enter the chapel we were told. The room is painted white, windows surrounding most of the walls. A lot of light passes through the room. It feels like heaven here. After I stopped admiring the tranquility of the area, I start to cry immediately after seeing what was at the front of the chapel. A white casket surrounded by flowers and wreaths is positioned at the end of the red carpet. There are rows of white wooden pews, some of my relatives sitting down and chatting. I don't go to them. Instead, I walk slowly towards the casket, Tori following close behind. When we reached the casket, I feel Tori wrapping her arm around my waist. I lead my head on her shoulder, sniffling out my crying. My mom looks ... peaceful. She was dressed with a white gown. If she was still alive, people would think she just got married. I tried touching her face one last time, but my hand was met with glass. I bury my face in Tori's chest, muffling my cries for my mom. Here goes the waterworks. She embraces me, her hand running down my hair. I'm not talking. Tori's not talking. She's just letting me cry myself out. She sits me down in the nearest pew until I calm myself down.

"I told you I'm going to be a crying mess." I mutter in between sniffles.

"I know. And it's normal, Cat. When my grandma died, I was like this. So, I know how you feel." She explains. I take a deep breath before speaking again.

"Thank you Tori, for just being here right next to me. You could have been with your family right now. But you chose to be with me, a girl with a dead mother, a crazy brother, and an disloyal father. I can't thank you enough. You're the best best friend anyone could have and I love you for that." And I mean it. If it weren't for her, I don't know what could have happened to me. Maybe, I would be depressed like my mom. Maybe, I might do stupid things, things that I will regret.

"Oh uh yeah... I love you too. You're the best too, you know that?" She stutters. I can't help but put on a sheepish grin.

I had to leave Tori at some point. I wanted to talk with uncles and aunts and cousins. I wanted to catch up with their lives. I feel like it's my obligation now to make at least small talk with them because it was usually my mom who would break the ice. I'd ask them what is going on with their lives now and they'd ask me the same. They also gave their sincere condolences. After all, I'm the most affected family member here. I returned to Tori not long after I left but she wasn't at her seat. She isn't even in the chapel at all. I exited the chapel and I immediately found the girl I'm looking for. She's sitting on a bench in the middle of the garden. She's facing away from me so this is a good opportunity. I sneakily make my way to her back until I cover both of her eyes with my hands.

"Guess who?" I whisper in her ear.

"Hmm... Is it Robbie?" She says sarcastically. I let out a soft chuckle.

"It's Cat, silly." I release my hands and sit down next to her.

"I knew that. I was being sarcastic. Cat, can I tell you something? And promise me you won't get mad?" She shifts her eyes to the ground.

"Kay kay" I reply. I hope it's not anything too serious. Like she has to move or something. Because I would go crazy without her. I'm already crazy as it is.

"You said that I shouldn't tell about your mom to anyone, right? You said you weren't ready?" I nod. "Well, I kinda told André about you and your mom. It sort of slipped when he called me just now. He asked me where I was and I accidentally said I'm at Holy Trinity. Then, he asked for an explanation and I told him. Cat, I'm sorry. You said you weren't ready to tell other people about your mom's death but my big mouth just blabbed it to André like it's the newest gossip in town."

"Don't beat yourself up about this. It's okay. I wasn't ready then, but I'm ready now. It's probably better that you called him about my situation rather than me saying '_Hey, Merry Christmas. My mom died so come to her wake at Holy Trinity right now.'_. It would be somewhat awkward, right?" I explain.

"Yeah, I guess. So, they are coming here right now. When I say they, I mean everyone. He told me that the whole gang is coming this instant." She says.

"Well, I'm already happy with just you here. Though, I feel more safe with the entire group. I need their support and yours more than ever."

"Oh... Uh... So, you're happy? With just me?" She asks me sheepishly. I answer her question with a quick peck on the cheek. My hand intertwines with hers.

"I'm happy." Suddenly, the silence fills the air. This moment feels so serene, only to be interrupted by the ringing of Tori's cellphone. She answers her phone with her free hand, the other not letting go of mine.

"Hey André ... Oh cool! ... We'll meet you up at the entrance ... Me and Cat, who else? ... Alright, see you." She pockets her phone after the conversation. "That was André. They're already here at the entrance."

"Oh, let's go then." I reluctantly release my hand and make my way to the entrance, Tori linking her elbow with mine. When we reached the gate, we saw the whole group about to enter. They immediately run in our direction. All of them gave me a tight hug one at a time, even Jade. They gave me their condolences and their sympathy, even Jade (I know, I'm surprised a bit, myself). I thank them one by one by giving them a hug of my own, and yes, Jade, too. I love them all so much. All of us go inside the chapel. We all sit down at a pew and we stay still, praying silently over my mom.

"_Mom, I won't forget_

_The fun times we had back then_

_You'll be in my heart_"

Since when did I start reciting haiku?

* * *

It's already time. 29th of December. The burial. This would be the last time I would get to see her face ever again.

Over the last three days, I've been repeating the same pattern over and over again. In the day, I would stay in the chapel for hours, looking over my mom. At night, my Nona would take over and I would go home. The gang would come by every now and then but I understand they have their own affairs to attend to. But Tori's with me all the time. She never left me alone for a long period of time. That goes to show how much concern she has for me. She would cheer me up whenever I become emotional, whether at Holy Trinity or at her house. Yes, I slept at her home because I'm afraid I might not even get a chance for a night's sleep since there are too many reminders at my own house about my mom. Good thing her parents and Trina are still out of the house and won't come back until the 2nd of January. To be honest, sleeping with Tori is the best night's sleep I've had in a while. Probably because of the sense of peacefulness she radiates. Or maybe it's something more.

After a prayer service was held for my mother, the casket lid was closed and the casket itself was set in place above the hole to lower it six feet under. All of my close friends are with me right now, as well as other Hollywood Arts people that I know, like Sikowitz and Lane. And of course, Tori is with me by my side. I can't get her off of me now, but I don't mind. I like her being right next to me.

I am once again a sobbing mess. The same goes to my Nona who's being held tightly by my grand right now. My heart tightens every second the casket is lowered inch by inch. We are showering bouquets of flowers on top of the casket. After waiting for an arduous minute, the casket is finally at the bottom and the dirt is slowly being shoveled in the hole.

"_May you rest in peace_

_Many memories treasured_

_by your dearest Cat._"

Again with the haiku...

After the casket is complety buried, I lost control of myself. High-pitched wails erupted from me. I felt a warm embrace enveloping me, and it wasn't my Nona. It was Tori. I bury my face in her chest, hushing my screams for my mom. Her hands rubbing my back soothingly, whispering soothing things in my ear and I go back again to that comfortable place. That place where it's just me and Tori and no one else around us. That one place where me and her can live happily ever after without a care for what everybody else say. Where there is only good and no bad, only ups and no downs. If only I have the courage to face reality. The reality where she's only doing this to me because I need it. Because I'm a hysterical mess right now and I need the support. I'll take it though. It's better than anything else.

* * *

After crying myself out the past few days, I'm slowly feeling better. I think I'm starting to move on. I think. As long as a certain Latina is right by my side.

"Cat, you ready to go?" Tori asks.

"I've been waiting for you in the car!" I yell at her from the driver's seat.

Me and Tori are going to the annual Hollywood Arts New Year's Bash. I'm taking us there with my car. Yes, my car. I have a red Toyota Prius c, bought it at a used car lot for an affordable price, and still in mint condition. I don't usually drive it though because I prefer walking if it's a short distance. Tori opens the passenger's door and I stare at her. Tori's wearing a light jacket covering her red top, dark skinny jeans, and a pair of Converse sneakers. Even looking casual, she still manages to look beautiful. On the other hand, I'm wearing a blue dress that stops mid-thigh and white heels. Nothing too fancy, but I was hoping to impress someone. That someone is staring back at me. We both ogle each other for a long time until I suddenly avert my gaze to the steering wheel. She plops down onto the passenger's seat. I take a deep breath and start the car, engine revving nicely. I hit the gas and off we go to the party.

"You look extra cute." She bluntly states. I feel a blush creeping on my face.

"Why the extra? Not that it's bad or anything." I ask curiously.

"Because you're cute whatever time and day it is. Just so happens that today, you went above and beyond." She justifies.

Right in the feels, Tori. Right in the feels. Can my face get anymore redder?

"Well, Tori Vega, you yourself look extra beautiful, if I say so myself." I come back at her. Two can play at that game.

I take a chance and glance at her quickly. Her face is as red as the top she's wearing. Immediately, I reverted my vision back on the road. I avoided looking at her until we reach Hollywood Arts. Why? Because I'm going to stare at her and I will forget that I'm driving and we might crash and burn. However, I'm pretty sure she's staring hard at me. When we arrive at our high school, I park the car near the front of the entrance. We get out of the Prius, and I surprise Tori with a hug. She quickly reciprocates by holding me tightly, laughing in my ear.

"What was that for?" She asks quizzically.

"I just like hugging you." I answer.

She just chuckles and shakes her head. I take her hand and pull her to the Asphalt Café. A ton of students are already here, music blaring through the speaker system. I see our friends mingling at a table and we walk up to them. They greet us with bright smiles, except for Jade who greeted us with her usual smirk. We all talk about random stuff about our lives until one guy decided to bring it up.

"Hey Cat, how are you feeling? Are you still sad about your mom?" Robbie asks me, the whole group going silent.

"Jeez, what kind of question is that, Robbie? Of course she's still sad." Beck defends me.

"Well, I'm sorry for being concerned." Robbie whines.

"No, it's ok. Yeah, I'm still sad. But I'm alright now. I'm moving on, I think. I remember what a certain person told me. My mom wouldn't want to see me all depressed and broken. I should smile for her and she'll smile back at me." I gave that person who told me that advice, Tori, a big smile and she corresponds with a cheeky grin of her own.

"Well, I'm happy for you Lil' Red. Now, enough talking about the past. Let's go dance! The DJ's playing the Cupid Shuffle!" André announces.

All of us head to the dance area and we start shuffling to the Cupid Shuffle. The six of us are on a straight horizontal line, Tori right beside me, as we dance to the beat. I just hope I remember the choreography.

_To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right _(Ok, right step, right step, right step, right step)

_To the left, to the left, to the left, to the left _(Left step, left step, left step, left step)

_Now kick, now kick, now kick, now kick _(Um... right kick, left kick, right kick, left kick)

_Now walk it by yourself, now walk it by yourself _(Face the ... left side! I got it!)

And we repeat these steps over and over again until the song ends. We were about to sit back down, delirious from all that dancing. After the Cupid Shuffle, the DJ plays another familiar song, the Cha Cha Slide. André might have shouted 'I love you!' to the DJ but I'm not too sure. The Cha Cha Slide was exhausting, with all that hopping and stepping. We kept on dancing and dancing until it was almost midnight. The DJ was already playing slow songs and we were already tired from dancing non-stop line dances, except for Beck and Jade who were dancing to the romantic song. André's trying to flirt with a girl and Robbie is lying down on a bench, nearly having a heart attack from all that dancing. I'm sitting with Tori, chatting mindlessly until Tori suddenly tugs my arm.

"Hey, wanna go to the roof?" She asks.

"Yeah!" I immediately answer.

Tori takes my hand and leads us back inside the school and to the stairway that goes to the roof. It must be our lucky day. We're the only ones here. I go to the edge of the roof, leaning on the railing. There's a clear view of the Asphalt Café and the music can actually be heard from here. I feel Tori's arms wrap around my waist, her head resting on my shoulder. The music dies down as the students begin to count down.

_10! __9! __8!_

"Hey Cat?" She mutters in my ear.

_7! __6! __5!_

"What is it, Tori?"

_4! __3! _(Yay! They didn't forget the 3!)

Tori turns me around to face her. She moves her hands from my waist to cup my cheeks. Our eyes meet and it's hypnotizing. As I start to realize what she's trying to do, her face inches closer to mine. And yet, I don't mind one bit. I look down at her lips and my eyes flutter.

_2! __1!__  
_

She gently touches her lips against mine. Oh. My. God. Tell me this isn't happening. Tori Vega is kissing me. Her lips are soft and sweet and I soon find myself kissing her back. This is all surreal. I'm not sure what to do at first. I decided to wrap my arms around her neck, deepening the kiss. Then I feel it. A spark is a complete understatement to what I'm feeling with Tori's lips brushing against mine. This isn't just a spark. This is something big. As the fireworks in the background blast into the New Year's sky, my own fireworks set off in my heart, and they're beautiful fireworks indeed. Today, all my troubles seem so far away. It's like I'm in an all new world with just Tori and me and complete jubilant euphoria. Our lips part and I'm left breathless. I lick my lips, her taste still fresh and sweet. Tori moves closer to whisper something in my ear.

"Happy New Year."

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**A/N: Finally! Some Cori fluff! I didn't hold back this time. Maybe next chapter's the slutty, I mean, smutty part. I don't know. Next chapter might take a while though. Life's hard when you got Calculus, Physics, and Programming in the same day. Too much math... In any case, you gotta review though.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Do I have to say it again?! I. Do. Not. Own. Victorious! I wish, though. I wish. Then I would make a Catorade spin-off sequel, where Cat, Jade, and Tori start a babysitting business to earn money for college. They should have done that. Not that I don't like 'Sam and Cat' or anything.**

**Warning: This chapter contains self-harm. So, try to skip it if you don't like it.**

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**Tori's POV**

January 1, 2013. 12:00 AM. A new year. Hopefully, a start of good things to come. And now, it couldn't have been better.

I immediately kiss Cat again. Cat's lips are so warm and gentle. They even taste like candy. The faint pyrotechnics in the background is nothing compared to those blasting in my heart right now. My hands tangle themselves into Cat's hair, intensifying our kiss. She grabs on to my waist tightly. I hear a soft mew and my breath hitches. I take the opportunity to brush my tongue against her lower lip, eliciting a mild moan from her. I gain access in her damp mouth, our tongues meeting and frolicking with each other. I kiss her like this for who knows how long. Amidst all that has happened to her, this kiss feels so right, magical, and perfect. These growing feelings could be dwelled upon later, because, for now, I was content to feel her breath come and go with mine.

It was around 1 AM when we left Hollywood Arts. The New Year's Bash was over, then. Although, the other kids just went to some popular jock's crib and continued partying there, this time with alcohol, drugs, and ridiculous Rated M party games. By the time we figured out the party was over, me and Cat were the only ones left. Our friends never looked for us, which I thought was unlike them. Maybe they thought that I and Cat had already left? Probably.

We're walking to her car, elbows linked, when my phone suddenly rings. I fish for my phone from my pocket and unlocked the screen, the message popping up at once. Cat leans closer to me with a curious look in her eye. It's a text from André. I read the message out loud.

_"Hey Tori! We tried looking for you and Cat to greet you two a Happy New Year, but we couldn't find you guys._

_You and Cat must have gone home early. I understand whatever the reason is. It must be because the DJ sucked half the night. Except for the line dances, those were tight._

_So, Happy New Year to you, Tori! You're probably with Cat at the moment so, Happy New Year to you too, Cat!_

_I hope all goes well for Lil' Red and of course you, Tori. Stay strong. I'll see you two when school starts."_

I totally forgot. André is going on a vacation to Seattle. We won't see him until classes resume. I type in my reply, saying:

_"André! Happy New Year! Sorry you couldn't find us. We actually left just after the countdown._

_It was earlier than we planned but we still had fun! Cat says Happy New Year, too! And thanks._

_Have fun on your trip! :P"_

After feeling completely satisfied with my text, I press the send button and wish André good luck on his way to the Emerald City. We continue strolling down the parking lot, heading to her Prius. Once we get there, we plop down on our seats, buckling our seat belts, and began the drive back home. I hold her hand that's not on the wheel, not really caring how dangerous it is for Cat to drive with a single hand on the steering wheel. At least her car has automatic transmission. We stayed silent almost the whole journey. I didn't want to risk ruining this tranquil moment. However, when she turns into the street going to my house, I had to speak up.

"Cat, we're not going to my house." I state.

"We're not? W-Where are we going, then?" She asks curiously.

I build up my courage before telling her the answer. "We're going to... your house."

Cat slams on the brake a bit too forcefully; the whiplash nearly sent my head to the dashboard. Luckily, we had our seat belts fastened, or else our faces would have smashed against the windshield. My heart is palpitating and my breath comes out in heavy pants. I put a hand on my chest to calm my heart down. I slump back against the car seat, heart still racing. I look at Cat, and she has a pained expression plastered on her face, her gaze downward, tears dripping slowly. Her left hand is clenched tightly on the steering wheel, while her other hand is slowly loosening its grip from mine.

"Tori, it took all of my will and strength just to grab my dress from my house. A freaking dress! We were only there for a few hours and what happened? I cried and cried until we left. I really don't think I could handle staying at my house for too long. There are just too many reminders of her in my room alone." She whimpers, voice barely audible. I tighten my grip on her hand before she has a chance to completely let it go.

"I know it's going to be hard for you. That's why I'm here with you. Cat, as much as it hurts me to say this, you need to face the fact, and I apologize for what I'm going to say, that your mom is gone. You can't just avoid all of this and say you moved on, when clearly, you still haven't. This is tearing you up inside. I can see it in your eyes. I even felt it in our kiss. You were hesitant at first, it's like you're using it as a diversion from your issues. It's hurting you inside and it still will be like that if you keep brushing this off like it's not that big of a deal."

"I-I don't... I-I'm not sure. I am trying to... but it's still killing me inside, knowing that I have no family left. I'm all alone."

"Cat, look at me." She hesitantly turns her head from the ground to face me. Her eyes are red and puffy. "You are not alone. Get it? Now, say it with me." She shakes her head. "Cat. Please." She exhales deeply.

"I-I'm not alone." She whispers.

"You're not alone. You still have your Nona, your granddad, and... you have me. I'm here. I'm here to help you. I'm here to support you. I'm here to love you." Her eyes widened in wonderment.

"W-What? Y-You love me?" She stutters.

Did I say something like that? I don't think so. I mean, I remember saying that I'll help her, that I'll support her. That I'll...

Shit.

For some reason, I couldn't answer, despite the fact that the answer is obvious. I answered her question in the only way I could think of. I kissed her. It was simple, soft, and warm. The kiss wasn't like last time, where my hands tangled in her hair and her hands linked around my neck. It's merely a long peck on the lips. This small, sincere kiss tells all.

I love her.

I pull away from her, lips parting with a quiet sound. I take my hand and wipe off the remaining traces of her tears on her cheek with my thumb. She gives me a small smile.

"Okay, we'll go to my house. But don't blame me if I go crazy. You don't even have any clothes on you other than what you're wearing now." She tells me.

"I won't blame you. And I'll just borrow your clothes." She nods in agreement.

As she starts the drive to her house, I completely forgot that we were still in the middle of the street when we stopped. Fortunately, no angry drivers were behind us. It is midnight after all. We talk about our friends and their winter break plans during the trip to her place. André is headed to Seattle. Robbie booked a cruise with his family to Alaska, though I'm not sure if that was such a good idea on his part, since currently, it's practically freezing in Alaska, and Jade and Beck are finally going to Cancun they planned for months now. That just leaves me and Cat here in LA, which we don't mind one bit. Once we arrive at her house, she parked the Prius in her driveway, tears again beginning to fall. I hold her hand tighter, brushing my thumb against the skin of the back of her hand. I give her a reassuring look, and we get off the car and inside the house. The house was just like the last time we were here, so it's safe to say, nothing was robbed from her home. She yawns tiredly, and I can't help myself from doing it, too. It is almost 1:00 AM, yet it felt like it was longer than an hour since we first kissed at the rooftop.

I suggest to her that we should go to sleep because we were still dizzy from all the dancing and kissing. Mostly from the kissing. We head upstairs to her room, hand in hand. No, we're not going to make love, mind you. Although, it would cap off on what has been an amazing day so far.

Stop it, Tori. This is not the time for hanky-panky with Cat.

We enter her room, and we change into our sleep wear. I pick an outfit from Cat's wardrobe and put it on in her bathroom. I chose a pink tank top which actually fits me perfectly and a pair of white gym shorts. I look like I'm headed for the gym. But hey, I feel more comfortable in these clothes rather than what I was wearing at the party. When I walked out of the bathroom, Cat was already in a white tank top and pink shorts. We both stare at each other's reverse yet matching sleep wear.

"Did you read my mind, Tori?" She laughs at our matching outfits.

"Nope, it's pure coincidence. Come on, let's go to sleep." I lie down on her bed, urging her to sprawl down beside me.

She plops down right next to me, facing each other. I remove a strand of her red velvet hair from her face, earning a blush and a smile from her. I stare at her coffee-hue eyes, cup her cheek and lean in closer to kiss her.

"You're going to be okay, Cat. I promise." She nods. "Kay, Good night." I kiss her again before closing my eyes.

"Good night, Tori." I hear before losing consciousness and drifting off.

I dream about that midnight kiss, replaying in my mind over and over.

* * *

I wake up with a chill all over my body. What the heck? It's not even that cold. Oh wait, I just got to pee. I check the alarm clock beside me, 3:15 AM. I've only slept for two hours, huh. I get off the bed, slip on a pair of flip-flops which I borrowed and head straight to the bathroom. After handling my business in there, I walk back in the bedroom and I notice something's strange.

No, not something's strange, more like, someone's gone.

Cat.

Panic surges through me, my breath rapidly panting. I leave the room and scan the area like a cop with a search warrant. My eyes dart around the rooms, waiting to catch a sight of Cat. My lips are trembling, whilst calling out Cat's name. I check every probable room she would be in, the bathroom (if she had to pee), the living room (if she wanted to watch TV. You'd never know.), and even the kitchen (if she was hungry). There is only one more place I hadn't looked into, that one place where I thought she would never ever go into again. If she's not there, then I don't know where else she could be.

I ran to the door leading to a set of stairs going down into the dark, gloomy basement. This place is giving me the creeps, and I didn't even bring a flashlight. It turns out, I didn't need it. There was enough moonlight shining from out the two small windows to light the room just enough. When I reached the bottom of the steps, I trample on something that made a loud crunch. I checked the bottom of my slipper, and see a roach, dead.

Dead...

Fuck!

"Cat!"

I find the red-head on a chair, the chair where her mom last stood, I presume. She's not standing on it, only sitting. I don't see any ropes nearby, so she's not going to do what I thought she was planning to do. Cat is staring at the ceiling, sniffling, the tears obviously running down from her red eyes.

"Cat? Cat, I'm here. Please don't cry." I plead. She doesn't even look at me, let alone respond. I notice a metallic object on the ground beside her.

It's a pair of scissors.

The scissors were sprawled on the floor, open. One of the sides has a faint trace of blood. The panic earlier has been replaced with extreme anxiety, or possibly hysteria.

"Cat, come on, let's go back to your room." Again, no response. I trudge closer towards her, and I notice the small cut on her right wrist, blood still dripping. I instinctively reach out my hand to the wound to somehow quell the bleeding. All of a sudden, she slaps my hand away. She escapes the basement quickly, leaving me in a daze. I check my hand and it is completely red from that hard hit. I run after her, screaming her name. I see her crawled up against the arm of the living room sofa, trembling and stuttering with fear.

"Cat, please, talk to me. I told you I'm here right." I sit down beside her carefully.

"I-I had a dream and a nightmare." She softly whispers. I hold her close, her head leaning on my shoulder. I urge her to tell me the whole story.

"It was like a montage of my memories with my mom. When I was a kid, me and her would go to the park and have lunch picnics, play in the swing set, catch butterflies. We made handicrafts, knitted sweaters, collected stickers. My mom was my only best friend in the world. She always made me happy every time I'm mad, sad, or anything else in between. But at the end of each memory, my dad would take her away, leaving me alone. I called for her but she didn't come back. And the last thing I remember, we were visiting my dead aunt's funeral, mourning for her, when all of a sudden, my dad comes out of the closed casket and drags my mom inside it. Then it was lowered, until it hit rock bottom, and the cemetery workers dumped the mound of dirt on it. I tried to stop them, but they were not listening. I had to dig the ground myself with a shovel they used. I dug at the mound until midnight but the casket... she was gone. And it scared me. It still is right now. I'm scared, Tori. It's only been a few days... How am I supposed to handle the rest of my life? She was my mom, my best friend, my everything. When my dad wasn't there, and he usually isn't, she's there, supporting me, cheering me on. And now, who's left? I know you're here, Tori, but she's different. She's my mom, and you can't ever replace that. You can't ever replace the love and support and care she gave for me. And she's gone. Gone because of... him! Fuck you dad!"

I cringed a little when she screamed that swear word out loud. She escapes my clutch, grabs the family portrait on the coffee table and throws it to the wall, glass shattering and the wooden frame breaking. I just let her cry herself out until she calms down a bit. After 10 minutes, I hold her again in my arms, my fingers tracing the wound on her wrist. I coo soothing sounds in her ear until she stops sobbing.

"Look, I'm not trying to replace your mom. She's very special to you, I know that. But I want to be special to you, too. I want to give you the love, care, and support that you deserve. It may not be as much as what your mom has given you throughout the years, but I can give you enough to last the rest of your years. At least let me try. I love you, more than you can ever imagine." I softly speak in her ear. She pulls back from my grasp, shifting her gaze at the floor.

"Why? Why do you love me? Why now? Is it because no one loves me anymore that you felt like it's now your obligation to love me?"

I grab hold of her shoulders to make her look me in the eye.

"No! It's not that. I love you because... you're special to me. You're the most caring, kindest, bravest individual I ever knew. And don't you ever dare say that no one loves you anymore. You have your friends, your Nona, your granddad, me... and most importantly, her. She's still looking down over you, giving all the love, care and support you need. She will never stop doing that. You may not feel it physically but you can feel it in your mind and heart. And, please, don't ever cut yourself again. I was extremely worried. Cutting yourself won't help you. Sure, at first it will relieve the pain but in the end, it will hurt you."

She closes her eyes, the last of her tears dripping to her cheek. I wipe them off with my thumb. She opens her eyes again and gives me a small smile.

"Thanks. And, sorry. I guess I needed that reality check."

"No worries, I sort of expected you would lash out at some point. You can't hold it in forever." She chuckles lightly.

"Yeah. And, if it makes you feel any better. I..."

Before the end of that sentence, I kiss her passionately. A soft, gentle kiss, indicating that I'll be with her until who knows how long. I pull back, staring at her mesmerizing coffee-colored eyes.

"I... Thanks, Tori. You're the best."

Now, that got me wondering what was she going to say at first.

* * *

**So, remember when I said that the smutty part might come in this chapter? Yeah, I lied. I had to make a few changes with the plot. I actually edited some parts of the earlier chapters to match with what's happening now. The smut might come very late, depends on how I write the rest of the chapters. I got the next chapter laid out. Well actually, it's just the bare, straight to the point summary. I just need to add more details and other possible fillers.**

**Shout out to Waitwhathuh for helping me in a time of need. Salamat (Thank you)! I got a huge writers block and she totally saved my ass. I asked for some advice and here we are now! If you don't know Waitwhathuh, y'all should definitely check out her fanfics 'Falling-Out' and 'Dead to You'. Those are some crazy ass stories. I've read 'Dead to You' like three times! Crazy shit.**

**Lastly, it's something off-topic but I'm going to brag, here. I'm fucking ecstatic recently. I got Amber Montana (from Haunted Hathaways) to follow me on twitter! Yeah, she's no Ariana Grande but she's still pretty awesome. And we actually converse from time to time, small talk, though. I died a little inside when she followed me. If you don't know the Haunted Hathaways, it's worth a look. It may not be a Dan Schneider show but it's still a pretty good sitcom.**

**MOST IMPORTANTLY, REVIEW! Whatever you like to say, put it on there. Love y'all my jiggas.**


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: Hahahahaha... Nope. It ain't mine. But you could be. :')**

* * *

**Cat's POV**

Tori was right. She's always right.

I have to face this situation head on. I have to stop avoiding it just because I'm scared to be alone when in fact, I'm not alone. I don't have to be scared because I know, my mom's gone and in a better place.

So how am I spending my morning, then?

I'm reliving my past by viewing them through a glass screen assisted by videocassettes. In layman's terms, I'm watching old VHS tapes of home videos on my television. And I'm doing this under my jurisdiction. That and Tori promised me she would let me lay my head down on her lap while we watch together.

That's where we are now. We are in the middle of watching my 4th birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's. Her hand is ruffling through my scarlet hair, and she knows how relaxing it is for me. I tilt my head slightly to look at her with a sincere smile. She grins back at me with an added wink. My cheeks burn up as I avert my eyes back to 4-year-old brunette Cat on the screen.

I'm in the ball pit with a few friends (Yes, I did have some friends, most of them our neighbors) and my brother, who was 6 at that time. All of us, excluding my brother, were happily jumping up and down and even across the rainbow of balls. My brother was in a far corner, trying to eat one of the balls. Right then, the camera pans out to my mother, who was outside ball pit scolding my brother for chewing on things not supposed to be chewed. My mom looked disappointed at him but when she faces the video camera, she beams widely and proceeds to explain, "Do not eat the balls in the ball pit. Or else, you might lose your teeth!"

I giggle at that, feeling a single tear run down from my eye. Tori notices this and she wipes it off gently. For the first time, I don't feel like going in hysterics anymore because literally, I've run out of tears to shed. I look at her with a thankful expression. She just smiles meekly.

"You are so beautiful." She bluntly states.

I know I'm blushing again really hard. She always does this to me. Tori has this way of making feel like her arms are around me just with her words, like she's holding me up. She breaks through all the negatives and fills my heart with hope and happiness. It's something I never thought I would feel again after my mom died.

"How do you do it?" I ask Tori.

"Do what?" She replies.

"This." I gesture in the space between us. "You always make my lungs fail, my body shiver giddily with every heartfelt thing that you say and do to me."

"Well Cat, I could ask you the same thing. How do you do it?"

To be honest, I really don't know the correct answer to that. So I reply with the first thing that popped up in my spontaneous brain. I tangled my hand in her hair, lowered her head closer to my face, lifted my head higher, and kissed her. It's not a forceful kiss. It's only a simple brushing of my lips to hers.

I like Tori. Well, it's obvious with the way I'm kissing her right now. But I've always had this crush on her. I have brushed it off ever since I knew, hoping it would pass. It actually started when I put the monster make-up on Tori last year. I felt really guilty so I promised to make it up to her. Since then, we hung out after school, studied for tests together, practiced acting for plays, sleep-overs at each other's houses, and other activities normal teenage girls do. But as I grew closer to her, I couldn't help but notice how her tan skin glows so beautifully in the light, how her eyes sparkle when I make her laugh, how her perfectly sculpted cheekbones standing out when she smiles. That's when I figured it out. I liked her more than just friends.

I was afraid at first, because I don't know if she'll like me back then. I'm crazy. I am ADHD. No, wait a minute. I meant to say, I have ADHD. Dang it, I'm not that good at grammar. One time, my brother barged in my English class and he yelled at the teacher...

Dang it!

See! My mind tends to drift off and most of the time, I barely notice it. That's why I'm afraid until now. I might drive her away with my craziness. After all, I went as far as cutting myself a few hours ago. And what did that led to? Me slapping her hand, running away from her and throwing our family portrait at the wall. So far, it hasn't happened. Tori leaving, I mean.

"I'm sorry about slapping your hand earlier." I say after pulling away from the kiss. I take her hand that I attacked earlier.

"Don't even worry about it. You were very emotional that time so, I don't blame you." She reassures me.

I breathe a sigh of relief. Her eyes are telling me the same thing, that it wasn't my fault. And maybe, I don't have to be afraid about this. But honestly, I still am, for a totally different reason.

Tori already told me she loves me. Not the 'best friends love each other' kind of love. She is in love with me. And that scares me. Because I don't know if I feel the same for her. I mean, yeah, I like her. But that's the difference. I like her, not love her. I do love her because she's such a great friend and she's helping me overcome my mom's death. But I don't think I'm ready to love her like she loves me just yet. After all, we haven't been together for a whole week, let alone a whole day. But that still doesn't change the fact that I like kissing her. Kissing her is good. It's drives all the bad away and brings all the good in. And who knows? Maybe in a couple of days or weeks, this small crush could grow into something better.

I return my attention to the video playing in front of us. Then suddenly, his face appears on the screen. He's actually smiling and laughing. Yeah, like he cares. He probably didn't care then, he's not caring now. It's all façade ever since, I assume. I clench my fists, wanting to just hit him. Hit him like how he hit my mom. Tori sees this and she rubs the length of my arm. I calm down immediately. She's my painkiller, the drug that eases all my troubles away.

We keep watching home videos until lunch time. I did not shed a single tear the rest of the morning. For the first time, I actually felt happy after watching my memories being replayed on the screen, except for the parts where he'd show up. I wasn't sad when I saw my mom on the TV, though I'm not even too sure myself how I felt. Incomplete, perhaps, but not total sadness. However, this Latina girl is trying her best to fill that empty void.

"Hey, Cat." I look down at her, my hand playing with her brown locks. We switched positions awhile back, so it's Tori's turn to lay down on my lap. "I know I might sound like a dork right now but, will you go out on a date with me?" She asks sheepishly. She's blushing so hard it's cute.

"I would like to. And, it's not dorky. I like straight to the point people." I say, giving her a poke on the stomach. She giggles lightly.

"Great! We can go now. I know a great place we can have our lunch. I'll drive us, even though I'm still only on my permit."

"You still don't have your driver's license, Tori? I'm unimpressed already." I deadpan.

"S-shut up." She stutters, head turning away from me.

"I mean, you did run over an old lady, right? If you drive this time, you might have this sudden urge to hit elderly women when you see them walking across the street."

"That was an accident! Oh fine, you'll drive." She states, the tone of her voice guilty.

"I'm kidding Tori. I don't even know where we're going so I'll let you drive... this time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tori asks. I giggle lightly at her comment.

"If I remember correctly, that's what I always say." I retort with a smirk on my face.

"Whatever, let's just go." She grumbles. Sitting up, she gets off the couch and grabs my car keys on the coffee table. Tori's hot when she's hot.

"And that old lady survived!"

* * *

"Tori, why haven't you backed out of the driveway yet? Or fastened your seat belt? Or put the key in the ignition? You need the key to drive, Tori. You know that, right?" I ask her, slightly confused.

"I-I know. I'm just nervous." She mutters softly.

"Why? Are you afraid you might hit an old lady again?" I say, biting back a giggle.

"No! It's just that... You know, this is my first time and..."

"Why do you sound like we're talking about sex here?" Her eyebrows shoot up, mouth agape, trying to come up with a response. It seems like she doesn't know her sweet, innocent, little Cat Valentine is aware of what most teenagers desire, or at least the horny ones.

"What?! No... I... Never! I'm talking about our date. Like, it's my first time to go out on a date with a girl." She hurriedly stammers.

"Well, if you want my insight, this date will go bad if we don't, oh I don't know, leave." I scoff. Tori takes a deep breath, more like a sigh to me.

"You're right. I'm being dumb." She fastens her seat belt, inserts the key, and finally starts the car. "Let's go!" She happily exclaims.

We drive off into the California sun. I turned the radio on, and me and Tori jammed along the songs playing. After for what seemed like 15 minutes, we arrived at our destination. I did not even notice where we are until Tori stopped the car in the parking lot. I stare at the building, slack-jawed.

"Oh my god, Tori. Chuck E. Cheese's?!" The white bricked building was the same as ever, windows around the place, giving a preview of the arcade and the actual restaurant.

"I kind of got the idea when we were watching your 4th birthday video. You like it?" She asks timidly.

"Yes! I haven't been here since that same birthday, to be honest. I love it." I look at her with a grateful expression.

"I'm glad you love it." She smiles shyly at me.

We leave my Prius and head towards the door of the pizza restaurant. When we enter, a nostalgic smell fills the air. So many memories from that one time I had my birthday here. I see they removed the ball pit, but the animatronic show is still alive. The place is littered with racing simulators, first person shooting games, claw cranes, a prize redemption kiosk, and a photo booth. We head to the counter and we place our order, the $20 deal that includes a medium pepperoni pizza, two soft drinks, and 25 tokens for us to use in the arcade. Tori insisted on paying, and after begging almost to the point of her kneeling, I let her pay our lunch. Once we were given our food, we look for a table for two. We find one near the photo booth. Tori sets down the food on the table.

"Allow me." I hear Tori as she pulls the chair out for me. I giggle at her dorkiness.

"Why thank you, kind lady." I give her a bow of thanks, matching her quirkiness. We both sit down, hands itching to get a taste of the still-hot pizza.

"You don't think this is kind of pathetic for a first date? We're in a pizza place for kids." She asks me with uncertainty.

"Tori, I love it. It brings back a lot of memories. And so what if this place is aimed at kids, I'm Cat Valentine, remember? I love kid stuff. Although, I wanted to jump inside the ball pit one last time." I reassure her.

"Okay, good. Alright, well, maybe next time, we can dine at a fancy restaurant by the beach." She offers me.

"Next time? Hmm... I don't know. I'm barely impressed so far, I'm not sure about a next time." That was just a joke, but her face shows that she's convinced what I said is real.

"What? But y-you said... You like... huh?" She stammers hurriedly. I hold her hand, looking at her in the eye.

"I'm just kidding Tori. I really do love it. I do." She sticks a tongue out, while I smirk at her.

We start digging in to our pizza. I take a bite gingerly, hoping to get a good taste of the pizza. However, this pizza... well, it's not as great as I hoped it would be. Then again, this establishment is mainly for the younger ones. They wouldn't care how the pizza would taste, as long as it's pizza. I still eat three slices though. Tori ate only two, leaving the one last slice on the table. We both stare at it, and each other after a while. We're both thinking of the same thing.

"You can have it." I say... as well as Tori. We both said it at the same time, eliciting a few laughs from both of us.

"Come now Tori, you only ate two slices of pizza. I ate three. It's only fair that you get the last." I insist.

She grabs the last slice and before she eats it, she offers me a bite of her pizza. I gladly accept, biting off a small part of the pizza. Afterwards, she munches on it, picking off a piece of pepperoni and gives it to me.

"You're so dorky, Tori, I like it." I say before eating the pepperoni she had in her hand.

We both finish our drinks and soon find ourselves within the arcade area of Chuck E. Cheese's. We played almost every game we could see, expect for that zombie apocalypse one, because I hate zombies. A lot. They scare me. Tori challenged me to a race which I happily accepted and won. Then I was the one who challenged her to a game of air hockey, which she won this time. But really, I let her win that time. She did her triumph dance after that, and it was totally worth the loss. She's so cute when she's a dork. We tried our luck at the crane games but neither of us won anything. And we wasted like ten play tokens on them. Lastly, we went in the photo booth for photos, obviously. We we told by the machine to pose four different times. The first pose was us just smiling. Plain and simple. The next two were wacky shots, me and Tori making funny faces at the camera. And the last one was probably my favorite, Tori pulling me close for a passionate kiss. My hands wrapped around her waist, hers tangled in my red velvet hair. Her breath smells like cheese and pepperoni, but I don't mind at all. In fact, I know mine smelled the same anyway. Her tongue licked my lower lip, inviting her in to meet my tongue. She tasted like pizza, too. We didn't stop until after the photos were completely finished printing. We took two each, officially stamping this moment in our lives as our first date. We left Chuck E. Cheese's full, happy, and delirious from that make out session in the photo booth.

"So Cat, how was our first date?" She asks giddily.

"Eh, it's not bad." I deadpan.

"That's it? Not bad?" Her eyebrows scrunch up in puzzlement. Confused Tori is a cute Tori.

I shake my head, taking her hands in mine. "I love it."

She grins sheepishly and the next thing we know, we kiss right in the middle of the parking lot, not giving a care in the world who can see us. Right now, it's just me and her, and it feels so right. After hearing a few coughs from concerned parents, we pull out of the kiss, and we enter my car. I hoped no one took a picture of us kissing. We drive out of the area with the radio turned up. After belting out the lyrics of a few well-known songs, we reach an intersection, a perfect opportunity for asking a favor.

"Tori, do you mind if we go to the cemetery? I want to visit her."

"Of course we can go. Wanna head to Wal-Mart first to buy flowers? Or candles?" She glances at me before checking out the stoplight. Still red.

"Candles are enough. She loved candles, especially scented ones. Ooh, we can buy cinnamon scented candles!" I suggest.

"Did she like cinnamon?" The stoplight turns green at this moment. She notices this and proceeds to drive again.

"Dang it, she's allergic to cinnamon. I completely forgot. I'm so stupid." I face-palm myself.

"You're not stupid, Cat. You only forgot about it, maybe because she never brought it up." Hmm... Now that I think about it.

"Yeah, she never did. I've only heard about it from Nona when I made my mom breakfast in bed." I sigh, feeling slightly better.

"See? Now, let's just buy vanilla scented candles then. Everyone likes vanilla."

"Kay kay."

* * *

"Cinnamon, apple, new car smell, new house smell, bacon..."

"Oh get that!" Tori speaks up. I stare at her dumbfounded. "What? It's for my dad. His birthday's coming soon. And he kinda loves bacon to the point where he's obsessed with it." She chuckles lightly as I grab the bacon scented candle.

"Bacon-scented candle, check. Wait, does your dad even like candles?"

"If bacon is on the name, I guarantee you, he'll love it." She explains.

I continue my search among the shelves to find that vanilla scented candle. A few moments later, I spot a white colored jar in the end of the aisle.

"Got it! Vanilla scented candle for my mom and we have this bacon scented one for your dad." I triumphantly shout as I grab the candle off the shelf.

"Great! Let me grab my purse and I'll pay for both." She rummages through her handbag.

"Nuh uh. You already paid for lunch earlier. I think it's my turn." I slowly take her hand out of her bag.

"I'm not arguing with that. I am running low on cash."

"What? This is supposed to be the part where you annoyingly insist that you'll pay instead of me." Again, this is meant to be a joke but she took this seriously.

"Oh... Um... Okay? I insist?" She stutters, a look on confusion on her face. I beam at her happily. "What?"

"You're so cute when you're flustered." I pinch her cheekbone, Tori sticking out her tongue at me again, her cheeks red.

We walk to the cashier, handing the blonde guy our candles. He looks like the same age as us, if not a year older. His name tag reads 'Jordan'. He stares at us, specifically, our hands holding on to each other.

"Alright, $12.58 is your total, ladies." Jordan tells us. It's so obvious he's checking us out. We just ignore him, though.

I take out my wallet, and grab $20 out of it. I glance behind me just to check if there is a thief behind me to take my money. Nope, no one behind me. That is until I see a man browsing for items in the aisle behind me.

No way...

I never thought I would see him again. I was under the impression that he left California. But no... He's standing a few meters away from me and he doesn't notice his daughter staring at him. I can barely hear anything from my surroundings, my mind focused only on him. The strong desire to punch him quickly fills in me. My breath comes in heavy huffs, fists clenched and ready to hit. I'm about to step closer until Tori holds me back. I don't hear what she's saying as I'm still forcing my way to him. Tori eventually drags me past the cashier and out of the store. She sits us down on a bench, rubbing the small of my back. I bite back the tears, only for them to fall down anyway. I don't even know why I'm crying. I'm not sad. I'm just... mad. Mad at him. Mad at me, perhaps. I'm mad at him because he never cared about his family, before and after my mom's passing. And I'm mad at me for being so clueless then. Maybe, I could have done something. Maybe, she wouldn't be dead now. I'm mad at me now because I couldn't do anything to him. I could have shown him how I felt. How I'm suffering. I want him to feel my pain. Not just physically, but emotionally too.

Tori pulls my head to her shoulder, her hand soothing my hair gently. She's whispering words like 'He's not worth it' and 'This will get you nowhere'. I hold her tightly, my painkiller starting to kick in again. She eases all the hurt even with just her presence near me. I feel myself go numb, tears stopped falling and my breath evens out. I kiss Tori on the shoulder as thanks. Thanks for supporting me. Thanks for caring for me. And thanks for loving me. I don't have to be scared anymore. I don't have a reason to. She never left my side when she saw me at my worst. She's always here for me.

I pull back from her and give her a kiss on the lips this time. It's not like the one we had in the photo booth, but this one was like the kiss we had the first time. Soft, gentle, and sweet. This time, Tori's the one who pulls out, her face flushed.

"You alright now?" She asks timidly. I give her a weak nod."Okay, still wanna go to the cemetery?"

"But I never paid for the candles." Right then, she shows me the paper bag she had all this time in her bag. Inside was the two candles we picked out. The two candles I was supposed to buy.

"Not fair. I was going to pay for them." I huff, pouting at Tori.

"Well, you're still the one who bought them. I took the twenty out of your hand and told that Jordan guy to speed it up. Before I knew it, you were ready to rip his face off. That's why I held you back. I didn't want you to get in trouble. Mad at me?"

"Of course not. I actually have to thank you for that. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't stepped in. I was letting my emotions control me. I promise I won't do that ever again." I hold her hand, her thumb grazing along my skin.

"Good. And if I do see you like that again?"

"Feel free to grab my arms and drag me out."

"Deal."

* * *

***Insert deep sigh here* Finally, took me a while to figure this part out, again. Gotta give a shout out (again!) to Waitwhathuh for giving me tips on improving this chapter. I was only at the 2000-word mark and when I came to her, BAM! 4000 words it is!**

**So whatcha thinking? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Put it all on the review. Like seriously, I'm not trying to sound desperate but, I NEED THEM REVIEWS!**

***ehem* Anyway, the next chapter might come out some time next month. Why? School is a BITCH. I already flunked two tests just because I was so focused on this. YOU GUYS BETTER BE HAPPY.**

**So, school's my priority now. Please don't tell me I suck.**

**Remember: That reviews inspire me to work on school better. Love y'all!**

**PS: I am marking February 18th the happiest day of my life. Why? Ariana Grande followed me on twitter! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! If she's following me, why aren't you, hmm?**


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